Saturday, 23 October 2010

Special guest appearance

Digging through my sent messages which I will post here with the prefix "Liz Lemon", so you can read them in the voice of Tracey Jordan. Enjoy :)

Edit: Tracey Jordan is a character on the show 30 Rock. He often makes retardedly silly comments directed towards his boss/supervisor, Liz Lemon. Tracey has a very distinctive voice such that if you were to see a sentence begin with Liz Lemon, you'll read the rest of the sentence in his voice (much like proffessor Farnsworth and his Good news, everyone!). It's hard to get the reference if you haven't seen the show. If you feel slightly dumber after having read this post, then my job here is done. :D

Liz Lemon, I walked up a flight of stairs so fast that it startled the lady at the top of the stairs. Fuck yeah! bzzzzNIIAAOOooo

Liz Lemon, The chinese man left because he sensed your racism.

Liz Lemon, I'm walking past a pub whilst holding a bottle of chocolate milk. Should I start a fight?

Liz Lemon, Gran Turismo 5 has been delayed again. Trolololololo-lol-lololol-lololol.

Liz Lemon, I finally know what to do with a drunken sailor.

Liz Lemon, I don't want to be a kangaroo in Africa. I would be way out of my comfort zone.

Liz Lemon, I'm going to break into your house and steal all your juice!

Liz Lemon, Oh my god! I see a kid with a sheriff woody doll! I'm going to take it off him.

Liz Lemon, I had to unload half a bottle of perfume on my hands because I couldn't catch a mouse. True story.

That's it for today. Off to do what I gotta do. Take care :)

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Thursday, 21 October 2010

Hitler confus?

To clarify this whole Hitler clone situation. Scientists find a hair on his painting and use that to recreate his body. This body is of a 25 year old Hitler. His brain, however, will be from when he killed himself (preserved in ice or some crap, not exactly looking for scientific accuracy here). Bear in mind that this will be a comedy so don't expect anything too grim. Information on the other characters will be more relaxed as they have little to no historical relevance.
On to character design. I need help with this. The characters won't be hipster (in case you were wondering) and I'm looking for more detail than stickmen. Meeting with a friend tomorrow to see if he wants to be the artist. More information tomorrow and, if I get the artist, a draft comic; won't upload mine because it's stickmen and absolute shite :)

Wednesday, 20 October 2010

F**king copyright, how does it work?!

Well I was planning on posting a draft work of the webcomic but I woke up late and am now on a train in a hurry to get to work. Instead I'll expand a bit more on the story.
The story doesn't only centre around the Dream Weaver. Hitler is one of the main characters (bare with me here). It's a clone of Hitler who has to learn to control his racism and genecidal tendencies to abide by the rules of the 21st century. The other two main characters will be a muslim and a gay man. There's more to it but I don't want to spoil it for you.
Not sure how exactly to protect my idea from theft (paranoia much?), but if you see anyone trying to pass this idea off as their own, be sure to put an olive in their anus as they sleep.
Good day, good evening, good night ;)
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Tuesday, 19 October 2010

What should have been

This blog will be a month old come this friday. I made this blog to house the rantings of a fictional character, McRohanheim (yep, not my name and completely made up :D ), but most of the posts have been about my real life in the real world. I had actually planned to make a webcomic starring the main character about his day to day life on being a Dream Weaver (this may be lost on a few of you). Unfortunately the real world has hit me with hurdles I can't avoid and ultimately put the webcomic in hiatus. I'll post a few draft panels of the webcomic sometime this month and launch a sort of beta webcomic on this blog in November. If you guys think it's good enough to make it as a webcomic then I'll buy a domain and who knows what'll happen.
I haven't got an artist yet but I may have one by the end of the week. More information on the webcomic in weeks to come. I'll keep you updated :)

Monday, 18 October 2010

Stall them!

Well I don't have anything interesting to say so this is really a filler. Trying hard to come up with a funny and meaningful rap song to highlight my hostility towards religion but it's impossible to do so without a beat! Someone give me a beat to use as a template (I'm looking at you, Frank)!
I was texting on my motorola milestone(droid) as I walked past a group of school children (age 9/10) and a little girl said, "look, he has a mini DS!". It was reeeeally cute. I also saw a hunchbacked lady complaining loudly to herself. Not as cute.
I'll do my best to make a post a day from now on. :)

Saturday, 16 October 2010

Out of practice

Wow! There are two really beautiful finnish girls on the train. This completely changes my views on Finland, as I get all of my knowledge of the nordic country from this picture

(Holy crap I can post images from my phone!).
Time to turn on the charm and try out my moves. I've spent a lot of my lifetime insulting others, so much so that it's become my nature. Well I don't see how that can be a hindrance at this moment so here goes.
"Excuse me ladies, but ah, I think you dropped your gay card ;D ."
Uh, that wasn't supposed to happen.
Well I'm going to die alone. Day can't get any worse. See you later.
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Thursday, 14 October 2010

IRL wit

Quick post. Got off the train and when the announcer said, "Attention please", I replied with, "will the real Slim Shady please stand up". Said it slightly louder than I had expected to and it made a few people giggle and smile. Oh the pride.
Take from it what you will :)
Edit: I stubbled over an old lady's luggage. There goes my pride. Oh well, easy come easy go.
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Wednesday, 13 October 2010


I don't own an Xbox 360 but I get teary eyed and my throat chokes whenever I see the Halo Reach advert. It is truly the man's Titanic. Waterfalls are gushing from my eyes right now and damaging my phone as I type this message. Now that the mood is set, I can get on with the message.
Everyone. *sniff*, thank you for your visits and comments on my blog! I have been unable to reply and visit every blog I follow but rest assured, as soon as I get home (9 hours from now), *sniff*, I WILL COMMENT ON EVERY BLOG I FOLLOW!! THIS I SWEAR! *determined tears-laden face*
Every comment I get on this post, I will read thinking the commenter had manly tears whilst typing.
I must go now. My manly tears are making everyone on the train feel uncomfortable.
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Sunday, 10 October 2010

Back into the swing of things

And I'm back! A few days without the internet is hell. If I were a spy and my captives used dial-up as a torture method, none of the UK's secrets would be safe. Now that I'm back home I can visit everyone's blog :D ...after work.
My friend and I decided to have a meme-off. We would basically text each other memes and he had me on the ropes with his lack of knowledge on magnets. That's when I hit him with this.

In the west arm of milky way, born and raised
In the solar system is where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing and such
And orbiting a star, like a planet does
When a couple of particles, noticed I didn't spin
Started making trouble with their solar wind
I got in one little fight and the sun got scared
And said,"I'm giving you a magnet to counteract my flares"
I span on my axis to give it a try
And noticed my shape was more eliptically inclined
If anything I should say that this act was queer
But I thought, "nah forget it" wohoo an atmosphere!
I, used, all of the water to make myself look new
And yelled at all the planets, "I'm better than all of you!"
Looked at my creatures and I already knew
I'm the most important planet, the Earth, the big blue.

It's rubbish, cheesy, doesn't really sit as a meme, historically and scientifically inaccurate, but damnit it rhymes! That's gotta count for something!
Monster mash, bel air; does anyone want to hire me as a DJ for their party?
As german, philanthropic hulk would say, "Guten tag, puny humans!"
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Monday, 4 October 2010

A lot on my plate

This month will be one of the more challenging periods of my life. Dealing with work, family and friends, my blog, the blogs I'm following (checking everyone else's blog uses up atleast 2 hours of my day T_T ), getting fit (2011 London marathon) and now University. Studying is hard when you can't stay focused and thinking about my future isn't motivation enough :/ .
At times like these I think back to something my thermodynamics lecturer told me. After one of the lectures he came up to me and said, "you look like a pig in heat and if you get raped by a pack of N***ers it'll be your fault!"
It took me a while to understand what he was saying, and even longer to understand why he was saying it. I guess what he meant was doing work will lower your thoughts of failure, and slowly bring you up to acheiving your goals. And I dress provocatively.
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Sunday, 3 October 2010


I'm trying to draw inspiration for my rap post (see The Busy and the Stress) but I can't get the song Monster Mash out of my head so here's a pirate parody of Monster Mash.

I was mopping up the gallows early one morn
I'll follow my captain's orders, lest I be scorned
Then my crewmates jumped out, quite far from the norm
As they moved around, a new dance was born.
(They did the mash!) They did the pirate mash
(The pirate mash!) A farcry from hiding their stash
(They did the mash!) And then with ninjas they clashed
(They did the mash!) They did the pirate mash.

Okay it may not be any good but my mind is drawing a blank! So here's what I propose. Leave the name of a rap song down in the comments section and I'll try my hardest to make a Dream Weaver parody of the song within in 2 days time.
Good day :)
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The more you know

Hey guys. Something different today. There are a few people here who don't have links to their blogs from the followers section so I decided to make a post to explain how to make the links appear. It took me a while to find out how to do it, so here's what worked for me.

1) First go to your dashboard. At the bottom of the first page you should see the MANAGE button. Click on it.

Friday, 1 October 2010

Pages of the past

Perfection is key. This is an important principal that seperates the Dream Weavers from the great Dream Weavers. Weavers take great pride in paying attention to every little detail because if a client knows he is dreaming then the dream will end prematurely, and if a dream ends before it's supposed to then the client will not have forgotten the deal he made with the Dream Weaver.
This takes me back to when I started out as a weaver. A client had asked to dream about fighting zombies. Nothing unusual there. From what I had heard this was a common request. So I take on the project and half way through, the client rings me and tells me to make the zombies as Nazis. You know, for the added scare effect. That's not how fear works! The rotting flesh will sort of drive your attention away from political views. When was the last time you saw a character in a horror movie shout out, "Ah! Zombies! And they're racist!!!".
I get into an argument with the guy, trying to explain how pointless and time consuming it would be for me to add in the effect of Nazis, especially considering he had asked for the fight to take place in the middle of a U2 concert. He wouldn't take no for an answer. I knew the consequences of  an imperfect dream but I was young and foolish. I didn't want to start all over again and create a universe for him where Bono actively takes a stance against the Thrid Reich. So I patched his dream to give all the zombies Nazi uniforms and act a bit left wing. Unfortunately the client realised something was a miss when the zombies tried to bring down capitalism, and came to my door furiously asking for his money back. I told him I would deliver him a fresh perfect dream free of charge and as he lay in bed, waiting for me to fill his head with his wishes, I snapped his neck and stole his coffee table (it was made out of oak and had a dark brown finish).
I soiled the good name of the Dream Weaver. In less than 24 hours I was visited by the ghost of Jimi Hendrix (the member of the DWC assigned to watch over me). He told me that a Dream Weaver has to honour his contract and something about purple haze (I think he was high).
Since then I've tried to be the best I can at what I do.
I hope you all enjoyed my story and I'd like to end with something someone once said, which really touched my heart. "Washing machines live longer with Calgon!"